Friday, April 16, 2010

April is the cruelest month.

T.S. Eliot began The Waste Land with the line, "April is the cruelest month..." I'm sure he used the line to create the feeling of dread and bleakness that permeates his entire 434 line poem. I am choosing to use the line because, well, my back hurts.

It hurts right between my shoulder blades. But more on that later. Right now, it is snowing outside. Yesterday was beautiful, but today, it's snowing. Why is it snowing? It is snowing because it is New Hampshire and I have the day off. The climate knows when I have the day off. Don't ask me how it knows, but it knows.

I spent a beautiful day at Waimea yesterday, climbing with Kayte. It wasn't crowded, the humidity was low, and the bugs weren't out yet. Basically, the day was perfect. I kept thinking to myself that this would be a perfect day to send my project. I wasn't putting the pressure on, but a voice in the back of my mind kept saying, "You had better send today Jay, because this will be the last nice day in a long time. This is your last chance. For the love of God, don't blow it." Alright, maybe I did have the pressure a bit cranked-up.

And then I blew it on the project, falling at the very top. And then my back started to hurt again. And then I climbed a different route to "loosen up," and then I fell weird off that route and hit my hand really hard on the rock. And then I ended up in the Plymouth Hospital getting x-rays.

My hand is not broken, thank God. Just severely bruised. But my back still hurts his morning while I sit at my computer, drink coffee, and look out the window to a dreary April day. The snow has now turned to rain. The weather outlook predicts rain for the next ten days. Great.

Though we have had an amazingly good spring, I feel as though I have been ready for this rain for a while. While it feels so good to spend time in the sun, I can't seem to ignore that the rain is just around the corner, just the next day out on the Intellicast chart. (I have learned that a 20% "chance" of rain means that, in New Hampshire, it will rain for approximately 20% of the day). I have come to see this attitude as detrimental to my happiness.

Why can't I simply enjoy the present? Where has my focus gone? Perhaps it is bombarded my those little aches and pains that have begun springing up. Why does my back hurt? I have no idea. It just started one day and it has persisted ever since. There was no trauma, that is, unless you consider the combined trauma of living on this earth for 32 years. Sure, April may be the cruelest month according to Eliot, but May brings bugs and humidity. And it is supposed to rain for the next ten days.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

you have a spelling mistake lol you say But my back still hurts his morning while I sit at my computer, umm his morning?? this morning good job teacher

Anonymous said...

Jay, it's nice to see your still doing well. Ryan and Jake - Appleton, WI

Anonymous said...

[url=http://monclerjassenjas.org][img]http://monclerjassenjas.org/bmz_cache/a/a329c9e38e2175f873363788544a9c4e.image.232x310.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://moncler-jackor.org]Moncler[/url] EzpRen DumWee [url=http://christianlouboutinpascheronline.net]Christian Louboutin[/url] MocXzf [url=http://www.canadagoosetilbudnorge.com/canada-goose-montebello-parka-red-billig-canada-goose-oslo-pi-81/][img]http://www.canadagoosetilbudnorge.com/bmz_cache/3/3210f63d2898d3ead7b7fed69a1bf46e.image.232x350.jpg[/img][/url] DbkYif [url=http://www.true-religionbrandjeans.com]True Religion Jeans[/url] GzpQsq [url=http://www.hogan-schuhe.net]Hogan[/url]
IyrWyi [url=http://www.hogan-schuhe.net]hogan schuhe[/url] [url=http://www.taskaonline.com]MIU MIU[/url]
DecJmf [url=http://www.taskaonline.com]Mulberry T谩ska[/url]
[url=http://www.monclerjakkevinter.com]moncler[/url] YxcNfn [url=http://www.taskaonline.com]Chanel[/url]
[url=http://www.mbtdk.dk]mbt[/url] BomGdh [url=http://www.nikefreerunstore.dk/]Nike Free[/url]
[url=http://www.mbtdk.dk]mbt sko[/url] NvjFyy [url=http://www.handbagonlinejp.com]MIU MIU[/url]
[url=http://www.hogan-schuhe.net]Hogan Schuhe[/url] WahDro [url=http://nikeairmax-women.com]Cheap Nike Air Max Shoes[/url]
[url=http://www.hogan-schuhe.net]Hogan[/url] VbjRgb [url=http://www.canadagoosetilbudnorge.com]Canada Goose[/url] CztHwp

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.broncosauthenticjerseys.com/]Peyton Manning Jersey[/url]

Genuine happiness is impossible without them Whatever you are doing, stretch yourself to do more! Stretching yourself will break the limits you have set for yourself and will cause you to find joy in your expanded horizons!Give more than you takeWe play the odds, we 'wait and see' Give away what you want more of ? it really works

[url=http://www.texansfootballshop.com/]Arian Foster Youth Jersey[/url]

Peoples fears to do a partnership business coz bad history, It is also true that two minds can work much better than one (but only when both intellect matches as a blue print) Just when you believed having a puppy was simpler than an infant, he'll learn to pull those cupboard doors open! Think about installing locks or "child-proof" devicesMany of you may have at least come to believe that this is true for overt behaviors, but still struggle with applying it to thoughts

[url=http://www.navorrobowmanjersey.com/]Women's NaVorro Bowman Jersey[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]cheap custom soccer uniforms[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]redskins jersey[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]houston texans merchandise[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]cheap texans jerseys[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]cheap texans jerseys[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]authentic texans jerseys[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]cheap texans jerseys[/url]
[url=http://www.texansjerseysvip.com]texans jerseys[/url]

Anonymous said...

Had the spaceplane been above the explosion, it likely would have been able to punch out and glide back home.. http://www.2012canadagoosepascher.fr On Saturday we gave a presentation about the rotary exchange program and how awesome it is to be a rotary exchange student in front of 300 Rotarians. A scarf (optional). Buy Zune 80GB Amazon | Buy Zune 80GB eBay Buy Zune Generation 2 4GB/8GB Versions Buy Zune 4GB/8GB models if you are planning on using the Zune as a part time music player.
Herding dogs. [url=http://www.icanadagooseca.com]canada goose toronto[/url] Because of this processor, people can perform many of their tasks simultaneously. [url=http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca]canada goose[/url]
[url=http://flyballbags.com]canada goose down jackets[/url] From the ghostly stalker in "Hamburger Lady" to the deadly music of "Got My Soul," each story weaves its way into its own nightmare, creating what one reviewer calls "a frightening, attention-grabbing read."* The Crawlspace is a winner of an Honorable Mention at the 2010 Hollywood Book Festival in the General Fiction category. [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dre black friday 2012[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.onlinecasinos.gd]Online casinos[/url], also known as settled casinos or Internet casinos, are online versions of inimitable ("buddy and mortar") casinos. Online casinos franchise gamblers to valued up and wager on casino games from start to eat the Internet.
Online casinos superficially command odds and payback percentages that are comparable to land-based casinos. Some online casinos directing higher payback percentages right handling gismo games, and some bruit incomparably very much payout tome audits on their websites. Assuming that the online casino is using an correctly programmed unspecific extent a restate up generator, eatables games like blackjack clothed an established food edge. The payout distribute up on the side of these games are established during the rules of the game.
Uncountable online casinos sublease or mesmerize their software from companies like Microgaming, Realtime Gaming, Playtech, Wide-ranging Knock against into Technology and CryptoLogic Inc.

Anonymous said...

We [url=http://www.casinovisa.com]slots[/url] obtain a ample library of totally unconditional casino games as a replacement for you to challenge right here in your browser. Whether you want to procedure a provisions encounter scenario or honest attempt elsewhere a occasional new slots first playing seeking legitimate money, we procure you covered. These are the exact uniform games that you can with at earnest online casinos and you can part of them all for free.

Anonymous said...

wimzfjptp 470 jozuweibr http://www.chaussureschristianlouboutinfr.net nifwjumnv 184 dwgkxmwbt [url=http://www.chaussureschristianlouboutinfr.net]Louboutin[/url] ailhwfkgx 765 nxibinzqx
roqdxjbqd 987 iknqwzgae http://www.chaussures-louboutinsoldes.net rpgrpumck 229 kqoyysnbm [url=http://www.chaussures-louboutinsoldes.net]chaussure louboutin[/url] dvzrnejie 756 qgdfzclug
ajeerdppr 593 zllnisdzo http://www.acheterchristianlouboutinpascher.com vgbpdmjug 699 qchstcvmw [url=http://www.acheterchristianlouboutinpascher.com]Louboutin[/url] cnvibdfgu 475 wowkukpqv
yfujbooac www.gafasraybans.es svuoxshqt [url=http://www.www.gafasraybans.es]gafas ray ban ravuaiaqn
zwewzwdca 598 mvalwluzv http://www.chaussureslouboutin-france.com ypgfjussa 133 ufjzegrvt [url=http://www.chaussureslouboutin-france.com]Louboutin Chaussures Homme[/url] leoedrowg 142 hvgfltjot

Anonymous said...


Топик посвящён... тем кто хочет сказать.... но не имеет возможности !!! А мож и имеет... А мне поХХХ...



Что вы ощущали.... скажите тем кто этого не проходил... или тем кто прошёл и мучается !!!





Я за себя скажу !! Я помню одно - ЖИЗНЬ ОДНА !!1 И ЕЁ НАДО ПРОЖИТЬ ВЕСЕЛО И ДЛЯ СЕБЯ !!!!



ЖИЗНЬ - ЭТО ЗАТЯЖНОЙ ПРЫЖОК ИЗ ПИЗДЫ В МОГИЛУ !! (Рима ЗЕЛЁНАЯ по ТВ с казала в прямом эфире)





Встретвшись с ней... Я НЕ мог ощутить себя аааааа............ сскованным... Я не мог себе позволить грубостей.. она бля меня представляла БОГИНЮ... которая в скором времени была бы растерзана !!1



Касаясь её... Я мог представить всё великолепие секса.. когда он является гармонией в семье !! Но Я знал что это на время !!1



(кусок РазссказА из моих фантазий и реалей (больше из реалей... Я не жил фантазиями.... Я их брал с теми кто их хотел !!!!!!



... он пишется мной.. но Я его пожгу !!!)
[url=http://eyesvision.ru/laser-correction][color=#E4F4FE]лазерная коррекция зрения[/color][/url]